A Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred? 

Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore, and then run?

Those words from the famous poem Harlem by Langston Hughes are ones I've carried with me since reading Fences by August Wilson as a college sophomore. The poem was printed on the opening page of the book. 

Fast forward to a recent family vacation and a letter my father-in-law handed to my wife. It was one she had written to her future self when she was 14 years old, the same age my daughter is now. 

In the letter, my wife described her dreams of attending college, becoming a teacher, getting married and having 4 children. All of which came true, except the four children part - at least not in the way she imagined. 

You see, our younger selves lead us to believe life is a straight line or progressive path in which we take a series of steps towards our goals. Over time, we learn it is anything but a linear journey. Each of our path's is filled with ups and downs, setbacks and triumphs. Experience has taught me strength we build along the way doesn't come at the peaks of our lives, but rather, it is harvested in the valleys. 

I recently discovered the work of Gabrielle Bernstein after finding her famous Super Soul Session and fell in love with her message. I am convinced the universe does have our back, but we have to ask for what we want. Without getting too deep, I believe there is an inter-connectedness between all of us on a level we don't see or quite understand. 

What I do know is that when ask for what we want and let our intentions be known, those things have a way of finding us. But we have to be open to receive them and recognize what we asked for sometimes arrives in a different form than what we envisioned. 

The first child arrived in arrived in March of 2019 and was with us for 6 weeks. A precious baby girl who celebrated Easter and her first birthday with us. While only with us a short time, she left an indelible impression and we remember her fondly. 

The second child came to us Memorial Day weekend that same year and stole our heart with her beautiful soul. She spent 10 months with us in which we enjoyed many holidays, vacationed in Vermont and visited lots of fun places. She taught us 5 lessons which can be found in a blog I wrote about her after she reunified with family.

The third child came in the summer of 2020 during the COVID pandemic. An 18 month old girl who made us laugh with her silly expressions. We spent that summer in an inflatable pool on our patio (pools everywhere were closed). She loved it and made us appreciate the simple things during a difficult time. After 2 months, she went to her grandmother. 

The fourth child has been with us for 9 months as of this writing. A little boy who will melt your heart with his overwhelming cuteness. People literally stop what they are doing and rush to tell us how adorable he is whenever we are out with him. His amazing smile and curly hair elicit that kind of reaction. 

In case you're not keeping track, recall the letter I mentioned about what my wife wrote to her future self at age 14. Remember the ask for the four children part? It was the one wish that had not been fulfilled. The truth is, it has come true in a way her younger self never imagined. The dream had not festered, but was deferred.

30 years to be exact. But you see, those 4 children came into her life once we made a choice to become foster parents. A decision that blessed us with 3 girls and a boy, all of whom found their way to her as fulfillment of something she wished for at a much different place in her life. 

As a special bonus, my wife is also a stepmom to a wonderful girl who is moving way too fast into young adulthood. I did not mention in the letter written by her younger self, she hoped for 4 or 5 children - apparently the universe doesn't forget details. 

So to answer the question posed by Langston Hughes in his poem, what happens to a dream deferred?  I believe if we hold onto it long enough and don't give up, that dream is realized at just the right time. Keep chasing your dreams, for one day, they just might come true.