Broken Shells

The last days of August in New England are a time to enjoy what remains of summer with trips to the shoreline, walks along the beach and the more relaxed feel summer brings us. We recently took advantage of such time with a trip to a place I’ve not been in many years – Cape Cod.

For those familiar with the Cape, making it over the Bourne bridge leaves you with a feeling of calmness and a more relaxed vibe.  Assuming of course you beat the traffic and made it through the rotary without incident to reach you destination. In our case, we were successful and made it to South Yarmouth for the start of our summer getaway. 

What made this trip special was our 4-year old foster daughter joined us on vacation – it was our first time traveling with her and she did great on the car ride. Those with little ones in tow on 3-hour drives know what a challenge that can be.  Once we stopped for chicken nuggets, all was good. 

After settling in, we decided to head to the place of childhood dreams – Pirate’s Cove – for mini-golf.  It was fun watching her putt around the course and declare her score on each hole which had nothing to do with how many strokes she actually made.  Later that evening, we enjoyed dinner at a popular spot for seafood followed by time watching the sunset at Chapin’s Beach. 

The days that followed were filled with lots of time at the beach, with our favorite one being Colonial Acres – a spot filled with great scenery where you can watch the ferries depart Hyannis. While there,  we engaged in one of my favorite pastimes – shelling. For those not familiar, it involves walking around aimlessly with intense focus in hopes of finding the perfect seashells. 

I get that “aimless focus” sounds like an oxymoron, but let me explain. You see, shelling for me involves quieting the mind and enabling hyperfocus, staring into translucent water to spot the best shells.  You know the ones that are intact, unbroken with great shape and color that catch your eye just right – like you found buried treasure.  For me, it’s always so fun to find those shells that serve as a keepsake of time spent in a special place. 

Of course, our 4-year old was happy to tag along with her little pink bucket.  As we walked the beach, I noticed her approach was different than mine.  She wasn’t concerned with finding the perfect shells and certainly wasn’t quieting her mind, given the amount of chatter coming from her. At one point, she handed me a shell and I told her “that shell is no good, it’s broken” to which she replied, “that’s OK, it’s still beautiful.”

And just that like I stopped in my tracks and paused to reflect on what she just said.  Sometimes from the mouths of babes come the most profound comments.  You see, when I looked in her bucket, what I saw were shells in every size and shape that were broken, cracked and misshapen with holes in them.  These were not the prized shells I had set out in search of, but to her, they were just fine. 

What she made me think about is how often we might look at someone as damaged or "less than" and judge them based on this perception.  There’s a famous quote that states “we are all broken, that’s how the light gets in.”  For this little girl, who has faced hardship and struggle much too soon in her life, the shells she discovered that day were just fine – beautiful in their own way.

At times, we may find ourselves looking at someone based on their past history and trauma, concluding they are damaged goods.  The fact is, I’ve yet to meet a person in this life who is perfect.  Whether you believe in divine creation, intelligent design or natural evolution, human beings are inherently flawed.  And when we recognize this as given, perhaps we begin to understand and accept others as they are, not as we wish them to be. 

Our foster daughter could have chosen not to follow me that day, not to listen or accept my instructions to collect "perfect" shells. And yet as we walked along the beach, at one point she said “I love you daddy” – a statement both heartwarming and heartbreaking – and gave me a hug freely and without condition. Perhaps there’s a lesson in here that reminds us everyone we meet is going through something we know nothing about – be kind. 

And recognize broken shells are beautiful too.