Pain into Purpose

One year ago, shortly after George Floyd was killed, I channeled the emotions I was feeling into writing a blog I was afraid to publish, given the vulnerability it exposed and the topic it addressed. When I hit "submit," my heart was pounding as I was overcome with an expectation of negative responses and criticism it might generate, a state of foreboding. After all, who was I to opine on the subject of race, given the state of tension in our country as details emerged about what happened in Minneapolis. 

Little did I know the piece I authored would go on to be voted the Most Inspirational Blog of the Year by employees at my company, a distinction both honoring and humbling. Fast forward to April 20, 2021 and a verdict rendered that has been called a step towards "driving accountability for one's actions … through our justice system." In reflecting on the verdict rendered and response it has generated, I couldn't help but be moved by the words of Philonise Floyd, the brother of George Floyd, who has become an advocate for social change.

I was fortunate to catch a live interview earlier today on CBS This Morning in which Gayle King spoke with Philonise and the Floyd's family attorney, Benjamin Crump. There were so many layers to comments made by Philonise in this short interview that struck me about the strength of this man's resolve and character. While it would have been easy for him to turn inward, close himself off to the world and be swallowed up by overwhelming grief, he instead turned outward and let his voice be heard.

This statement in particular was especially moving, when Gayle asked Philonise what's next for you, where do you go from here. "I'm turning my pain into purpose, to be able to get out and help others all across this world, not just here in Minneapolis, but everywhere in different countries too." As he went on to say, too often in our community it can feel like "just us" as we seek "justice." For a man who has been through so much, the poise he demonstrated and words he spoke in this interview hold a message for all of us.

As Philonise went on to say, "This is a fraternity that I didn't ask to be in. And unfortunately you have a lot of families, they need counseling, they need somebody to get out and speak for them." His words have been on my mind all day and I've taken to heart the fortitude he has shown in the face of such tragic circumstances. Turning inward and closing oneself off would be expected and understood, a natural reaction anyone of us could relate to after experiencing trauma. Some get stuck there and never come out of it – in the case of Philonise Floyd, the opposite is true.

For somehow, he has found his strength and perhaps a higher calling in this life, that as he noted, he didn't ask for but has now taken to heart and accepted as his role. His words called to mind something I've heard said about "the two greatest days of your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." While many of us are still in search of our why, I believe Philonise Floyd has found his.

In closing, I can't help but reflect on the words of a favorite author and researcher Brené Brown who said in her book Daring Greatly that "only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light." Today I was able to witness the power of what that means through the words spoken by Philonise Floyd, and for that, the world is a little bit brighter.