Courage Means Being Vulnerable

Last month, I had a chance to join a webinar featuring Brené Brown speaking about her research on vulnerability which was followed by my participation in a Courageous Conversation at work about mental health. The fact these events fell back to back on my calendar was fortuitous as lessons learned in one were applied in the other.

I am thankful for a friend who extended an invite to attend the session with Brené as it provided the opportunity to listen to her for an hour, covering topics that touched upon so many truths. One of the key takeaways for me was that "vulnerability is the courage to show up when you can't control the outcome." How often do we hold ourselves back from taking a chance because we are uncertain about, or afraid of, the possible outcome?

Note the emphasis on possible, which often manifests in our self-talk as a series of negative scenarios we manufacture that lead us to conclude it's not worth it, or not this time, or I need to be more comfortable first. Sound familiar? If only we could know the outcome, perhaps we could convince ourselves it's OK to proceed on the path set before us. The truth is, "there is no path, it must be forged as we walk." Credit Antonio Machado and his poem Traveler.

Fast forward to the Courageous Conversation with co-workers about mental health. Some of the participants were known to me, most were not. If ever there were a platform to push us into vulnerability, this was it. Come to a meeting with your co-workers and talk about the current state of your mental health. How are you feeling, what are you struggling with, can you share some of your challenges with others? Fortunately, we created psychological safety in our company culture that enables such open and compassionate interactions.

While there was a good deal of silence on the call initially, we did foster healthy discussion as many dared to be courageous and leaned into the discomfort of talking about this topic with total strangers. Thanks to our facilitators for helping the group navigate this sensitive subject matter as it was beneficial hearing the perspectives of teammates. It made me realize that while we all may be in the same storm, we are not all in the same boat.

Our challenges throughout the past year in the pandemic-era have been different. The struggles we've faced, the losses experienced, the adjustments we've had to make – in some ways similar, but also divergent. The opportunity to listen as well as share our stories drove this point home and helped me realize we are not alone in how we feel. Every person we meet is struggling with something we know nothing about. Kindness matters, empathy endures and gratitude is paramount.  

Thank you to my teammates who dared greatly on the call and stepped into the arena to share their experience. I know it's scary but I've come to realize we can't have connection without courage and that being courageous means being vulnerable. In closing, I'll leave you with a quote from Adam Grant who said "The more I help out, the more successful I become. But I measure success in what it has done for people around me. That is the real accolade."

May we go forward with a commitment to be courageous and dare to be successful by helping those around us. For doing so has the power to raise others to heights far greater than we could imagine.